Many parents feel stressed because other parents are desperately competitive and want to know their teenagers’ ATAR scores. Knowing how to respond can help relieve stress and reduce competition with other parents…
While close and genuine friends should be sensitive enough not to put pressure on you to reveal your teenager’s ATAR score, others will not be so understanding. It is important to think the whole ATAR matter through, and be ready to respond confidently. Here are a few things to think about…
The score isn’t what’s important…
The ATAR score obtained is not as important as being accepted into a great tertiary course. A student with an ATAR of 95 might choose a course he is terribly unhappy in due to family pressure. Another student with an ATAR of 52 could find an exciting TAFE pathway into his dream course and be up and running towards success.
Answer honestly but don’t cave in to pressure…
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“How did Alex go?” …
“Great. We are so proud of him. He worked hard and is into a fantastic course. And he’s excited about starting studies next year…” (It’s important to research the course and the institution and really believe what you say. This will also help your teenager see that you are truly proud of him.)
“We don’t know which course he’ll be offered yet, but he has found some really great options. At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter where he studies as long as he enjoys the course and has fun…”
“He is really happy and looking forward to his GAP year. It’s important that he enjoys life and makes the most of the opportunities that come along. He has a part-time job he loves and they may even put him on full time…”
By not answering with an ATAR score, you are putting the focus back on what is really important. Few parents will come back with… “Yes, but what ATAR score did he get.” If someone does, it’s perfectly reasonable to answer politely but firmly with something like… “Well Alex is an adult now and we have to respect his privacy. Isn’t it great that our children are growing up and starting this exciting stage of their lives…”?
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“Are you happy with Anne’s ATAR score?” …
“Yes. She worked really hard. We want her to relax now, be happy and enjoy life. No more talking about scores. Isn’t it great that it’s all finally over. She has chosen some fantastic courses and we are excited to see which one she gets into…” (Teenagers need to know that their parents don’t feel disappointed in them because of their ATAR. If your teenager has worked his best and his ATAR isn’t terribly high, he needs to know you are genuinely proud of his effort.)
Finally…
There is far too much focus on ATAR scores and we need to put this back into perspective. The score is simply a way to select students into courses. Finding a range of courses your teenager would enjoy is the most important task. Importantly, there are similar courses requiring low, medium and high ATAR scores. Once your teenager is into a course he loves, he will taste success and be able to progress to higher levels and into great careers.